LATEST OXFORD’S DICTIONARY

Please update your online dictionary definitions.

• Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
• Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
• Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
• Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
• Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
• Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
• Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
• Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
• Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
• Father: A banker provided by nature.
• Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
• Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
• Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
• Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.