TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED...

• Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk."
• The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
• The cat is on Valium.
• People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
• You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
• The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
• No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
• "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
• You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
• Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.